Thursday, 06 September 2012

  • Coffee and Conversation

    Sitting here with a cup of coffee looking at reality.

    This morning TD seemed to be having another good day.

    After his morning care giver got him up and showered he mentioned he would like to go out to the point and watch the ocean.

    My son had a meeting at the college for his Fall classes and asked me to wait til tomorrow when he would be home to go with us.  I told him I thought we would be ok since TD has been having such good days.    He helped TD get settled in the car and we left.

    When we got there TD wanted to get out and sit on a big piece of drift wood and put his feet in the sand.   It was just a short distance so I felt it was alright, and he walked on his own with a huge grin on his face, and sat down on a big drift wood log near the car.

    He sat down and was totally loving the smells, sights and sounds of the ocean.    He quit laughing at the antics of the shore birds and got quiet and slid down into the sand on his knees.

    The aphasia hit and he lost feeling on his right side.    I could not get him up and he was gone mentally, so he could not help me.

    No cell phone coverage and no one around.

      All I could do was sit and talk to him and I was scared.

    It was 80 degrees and we were in the direct sun which is dangerous for him.

    Yes I was scared but all I could do was sit there with him until he returned mentally or someone came along to help me.  He is to big for me to try to get up, and if I try he always gets more stressed and the tremors begin, and get severe.

    Forty minutes later he was back mentally and able to help me get him into the car.

    I stopped at the walk in clinic at the beach on the way home and explained the situation to them and they would not treat him.   His tremors were bad and I even called his in home nurse and she called the clinic to give them the information on him.  I called in home care nurse and she said call an ambulance and I did , and they took him into the local hospital in town, where his in home nurse and care giver were waiting for him.

    They sedated him at the hospital to ease the tremors and care giver and nurse helped me get him in the car.

      My son was home to help get him in, and in home care help got him settled into bed.

    I told in home nurse I felt guilty that I had put him in that situation and she smiled and said, but you gave him the joy of the ocean also.

    So we are home and he is on the sofa relaxing watching the demo convention.

    I have a meeting with in home nurse here in our apt., later tonight, to sit up an emergency back pack with things he needs if he cycles down away from home.

    The days of him and I crusing down the old beach road with AC/DC blaring in the car cd player are over, but there are still many days of our morning, and evening discussions at the kitchen table left.

    They say it is not over til the fat lady sings, and this short, gray haired chubby lady is not going to sing:)

    This is the first time I have really looked at the reality of his health and how it is cycling down so quick.

    Please say a prayer for my buddy.   TY in advance. 

     

Comments (53)

  • plantinthewindow
  • lanney

    When my grandfather had cancer, one of the things my grandmother decided was that he had as much right to take risks as anyone else, so she would help him do what he asked of her and he lived out his life at home where he wanted to be.

  • feyenigma

    I admire you and TD so much. <3 Keeping you all close in my heart and thoughts.

  • songoftheheart

    You beautiful soul.  You did give him a good day, and while it was scary, hopefully you will be prepared in the future when TD feels well enough for another outing.  God bless you.  The love and care you show is such an honor to witness.  You guys are forever in my prayers, Ruth.  

  • promisesunshine

    that grin on his face.  that's what sticks with me.  i don't know anything, but it seems to me that grin is the best thing you could do for him.  i know you were scared.  i can feel that and i would be too.  but you gave him a gift.  i hope you get to give him lots more gifts.  you are an angel.

  • MOM2_4

    Hugs & Prayers!!  SO glad you were able to go to the sea.  Very hard, but good tht you could give TD that special time.

    BTW ~ I keep an emergency bag packed at all times.  I also have an overnighter bag packed which I load up each week when we head to the hospital for check ups.  It's become a way of life to have those things... not something I really like, but a way of life nonetheless.  This said to say, I know at least part of what you are going through.

  • Shining_Garnet

    *Hugs* I'll pray for him.

  • fireandicecat

    it's a tough/challenging situation -- you are both in my thoughts ... take care.

  • mcbery
  • MzSilver
    Thinking of You...

    There are no words to express the feelings of this post, Ruth. It must have been overwhelming, yet he was filled with joy over being able to have his toes in the sand and enjoy the beauty of the ocean. You are such an amazing woman. Keeping you both in thoughts and prayers!!  Warm hugs, my sweet friend...

  • starmanjones
  • HUMOR_ME_NOW
    Hi Ruth, said a prayer for you and TD for going through this difficult time. Everyone here and your family and care giver admire you for you love and devotion to TD. I am sorry both of you are going through this phase of life.

    hugs

    frank
  • atticusfin
    Hang in there!

    you are such an inspiration to so many!  praying for the both of you in this season of your life!

  • Roadkill_Spatula

    Thanks for sharing this, Ruth. I think I would also prefer getting out and seeing the sights whenever possible if I were in his place. I'm glad you got to do that, although it was scary. Blessings to both of you.

  • RakkaRay

    God bless you, Ruth!  TD is indeed a lucky man to have you.  If I were in his situation I'd believe that the feel of the sand between my toes would be worth all the risk.  You are doing a fabulous job as his wife and companion!  And BTW, I don't think there would be anything wrong with putting on some AC/DC for old time's sake.

  • angys_coco
    zap!

    Of course. Bug hug to you. It must have been awful being there outdoors, feeling helpless. But you took him outdoors and he loved the ocean. That is important. I am glad the nurse told you that to reassure you.

  • thistlepatch
    Thinking of You...

    Hugs to you and TD.  Don't feel guility.  You gave him a pleasure he enjoyed so much.  How loving that is.  His disease is what it is and is in the hands of the Lord.  Please try to stay strong.  We all have your back and believe in you.  One day at a time and enjoy those little pleasures.  If TD wants to walk in the sand then let him, he has earned that pleasure, in fact any pleasure.  You are stronger than you think and we all have your back.  I'm so glad that you have become my xanga friend.  You have taught me to to look at the small things and what nature has to offer and enjoy that moment.   You and TD are in my prayers and heart daily.   God bless you, you are a very caring lovely lady.  Sending love to you both.,,,,,,now I will shed my tears in silent.

  • ZSA_MD

    I wish I could give you a monstrous hug. I wish I were there to help you. I had tears in my eyes as I read through this post. 

    I cannot believe how a walk-in-clinic would refuse treatment to any one! That is preposterous. I can visualize the helplessness you must have felt on the beach. But I am so glad that you were able to be with him, take him there and let him dig his feet in the sand. God bless you and Ted. Yes, you are in my prayers love.
  • fauquet
    Something sweet.

    Be sure I have a prayer for you both .
    You live a hard reality and I have a great compassion .


    You are caring and courageous,Ruth.


    Love
    Michel.

  • RighteousBruin

    You have my prayers, as always, Ruth.  Hang in there.

  • armnatmom
    Thinking of You...

    Wish I could give you both hugs personally. You know I would help in any way I can. My love to you both...

  • ata_grandma

    Of course I will pray,and for you too.

  • RestlessButterfly
  • chronic_masticator

    You made him happy.  That's all that matters.  I can't believe the clinic refused to treat him.  I didn't think that was allowed.


    I wish I lived closer.  You know I'd help however I could.  /hugs
  • LastStopCrazyTown

    Prayers and strength your way, Ruth.

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