Friday, 05 October 2012
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Friday Thoughts
I was just over reading John @plantinthewindow and what he wrote brought some thoughts to mind.
I started my first blog on Xanga over seven years ago called styxandstonz.
I got angry and left several times and came back with different names including grannyinboxers, and then grannyinseahawkboxers, and eventually evolved into grannys_place.
Grannys_place suits me.
I sit here today and wonder if you really knew me, what goes through my mind, if you would still come to read me.
I find myself keeping political opinions, and other issues to myself so as not to create drama and argument.
I find myself trying to speak through my photos and show you all what makes me happy and what touches my heart-showing you all a part of me.
I wonder if you knew my past and the path I walked to get here to where I am at today, if you would judge me and walk away.
I wonder how many of us here on Xanga do not talk about things that were not our fault but that we are filled with guilt and shame about.
Showing the world the totally true self is a terrifying thing and some times we all just need to keep a wall of protection up to keep what is left of us safe.
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Comments (42)
you give us little peeks into where you've been. and truthfully those peeks add to respect i have for you for sharing the wide open things that make you happy and concern you on occasion.
on the other hand, i've been wrestling with this lately too.
There's a lot I've been through that I don't talk about, because it doesn't define who I am now. Most of my closest friends have gone through messy periods of life, and some are still dealing with stuff. Thank God for grace that lets us escape our messes and start anew! Thank God that we don't have to be defined by your failures or weaknesses.
I appreciate you, Ruth.
this is true. I like who you are. your past and where you've been and what you done matters only in that it's created this wonderful creature that I know, now. ((hugs))
I recognize some of those past names! I would still come read, no matter what, for your heart comes through in all that you share. You go ahead and put up whatever walls you need to keep yourself comfortable in sharing whatever you choose to. We all do it. You are a strong woman who overcame an addiction. You are my soul sister who loves mama earth. You show me what deep love looks like when you share about TD's struggles with his health. There is much I admire about you, Ruth. I'm glad you always found your way back, for you have much to offer here.
I will always visit your site and we have the twin girls to contend with. I think I have read and knows most about you and your past experiences, which I think has only enriched you more. And what you are giving today taking care of TD, is enormous. I learn from the strength you have. I am so glad about Xanga for having met someone so special as you.
We all, as another dear friend mentioned elsewhere, wear a mask, a time or two in our lives. I accept people as they are, pretty much, having been less than an ideal person on more than one occasion.
I must be a shameless fool because I will write just about anything about myself here. I honestly don't care about it, even though I do have feelings about everything people say to me in their comments and it does feel really good to make friends here, 'specially since I don't have any in real life. As it stands now, there are several people here that I would like to live next door to...I think...hahaha.
Everyone comes with baggage. If people are judging you because of your past you really don't want them reading. I don't care if people judge me. I stuck something about my past in one of my posts yesterday that I probably shouldn't have but the support I got from people was amazing. I thought I was going to get a bunch of rude comments about it but I really didn't care. My past does not affect anyone else so judge me if you will but it's really just waste their time not mine.
Ruth I remember reading you back when you had other names and it is true that you've had troubles that would have crushed lesser souls. You inspire with your resilience and tenacity. You have a heart that is so big that it doesn't matter what has been, just what is.
it's nice to finally settle into a name
I like Granys_place, I do think it suits you and I like to come here and wonder with you and Aly, to know about TD and your kids and grankids :) I'm always looking to know more about you and hear your wise and always loving advices...I do thank God every day for having you in my life Ruth <3 Much Love your way
Everyone has a sordid story in their past. Some people's are more sordid, some are pretty boring, but almost everyone has something that they did or something that happened to them that they're somewhat ashamed of, or they don't share with the whole world, only with certain special people. I don't share everything here, but I share a lot more than I do with real life people, I feel safer here. Good friends can have differing opinions but still be friends. I went to dinner tonight with a coworker and her relative who have very different political opinions from me. But we still are pretty good friends and had a good time. And there are sordid things in my past that she will never know, but there are others who do. Some people might turn away, but others who are really good friends will stay.
I'm glad you've stuck around. I enjoy your photos, hearing about your life and adventures, and getting your advice. :)
I started with one name and then changed.. to a whole new account.
I do keep feelings to myself a lot, because I don't want to hear anyone's negative comments. :/i agree with most of what all the other comments said ... life is a challenge & you have taken on that challenge & become stronger & wiser for it ... it's only small-minded people who will judge you & try to tear you down ... i think you are humble & awesome, & i have a great amount of respect for you ... take care.
Hi Ruth,
I too try to write very polite posts. Sometimes it does not work. lol
I know you are a gal with love in her heart who is doing an amazing job with hubby and family. Your nature photography is inspiring.
frank
One of the great things about Xanga is that it allows us to portray ourselves as we wish to be seen by others. I love coming here to see your world, Ruth! (((hugs)))
@promisesunshine - ty so very much and readingJohns post got me to thinking about how much we hidefrom others feeling they will not like us if they know-things from our past and childhood that really were not our faults but left us with that quilt and shame that we carry with us into adulthood.
@Roadkill_Spatula - ty so very much and I appreciate you too and am so excited fo ryou and Alicia.
@plantinthewindow - Ty so very much John and hugs back your way.
@Grannys_Place - we carry a lot of baggage.
@promisesunshine - yes we all carry a lot of baggage
@songoftheheart - Ty so much soul sister.
@christao408 - So right and TY so very much
From reading your posts and the compassion you ooze, I think I know you well enough. You are a true light here Ruthie, and I love you lots.